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  • Kenton E. Biffert

Letter to My Son who Answers my Phone


Dear Son,

Your mother caught you on the phone yesterday pretending to be her and answering questions about her pregnancy. You told the caller that despite your morning sickness, you were doing fine though today was a bit rough. Thankfully, your mother stopped your shenanigans and cleared the air with the caller before you decided to get into any more detail.

Now, admittedly, I tried hard not to laugh when the I heard the story. I'm told the caller laughed herself silly when she found it was you. Oh yes. I see your stink'n smile. I also know how your mind works in conniving ways.

See my son, yes, you can be funny. But ... BUT what if there was an employer on the other line and you were pretending to be me and I lost a contract? Or what if there was an emergency? Or what if Santa were calling and confirming your Christmas presents? Everything, many things could be ruined and go awry.

There is a time to be funny and a time to have decorum. You represent the family name when you answer the phone. It is important to put your best foot forward in doing so. For you represent me, your mother and your family.

My son, I love you 100x. I love your humour. I also love good manners. Combine them for me please.


Your Dad

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